A God Bearing A Gift
by Manchester
Summary: By his rights, it was the only honorable thing which Thor could have done, presenting Buffy Summers with a just reward for this young woman's brave actions over the years. Plus, it took a truly disgusting object out of her hands for once and all.
1. Chapter 1

Striding purposefully down the halls of Avengers Mansion one evening, Thor, the Norse God of Thunder, was already savoring the rare delicacy he would soon persuade Jarvis to again create for him. This loyal manservant maintaining the world-famous residence for a superhero team responsible for protecting humanity always made a truly fantastic chocolate shake. Aye, Midgard had changed greatly over the centuries to possess many more marvels of all kinds now that mankind had learned so much since Thor had last visited this dimension, but nothing comparable to a glorious concoction of milk, ice cream, and the wonder which was chocolate.

The expectant smile on Thor's rugged face abruptly shifted into a concerned expression when he approached the open double doors to one of the mansion's recreation rooms. He'd just heard from inside there a word which this god never wished to listen to ever again. Clapping a hand to the right side of his waist where Mjolnir, the mighty uru metal hammer of Thor, dangled from his belt, the blond-haired deity plucked free his weapon and he held it ready as he burst into the room.

Standing there in his archaic costume, eager for battle and searching for likely enemies, Thor cast a swift glance around the room, while also booming in his deep bass voice to the only other occupants there, "Where is the vile creature I heard thee speak of, brave comrades? Show me its lair, and I shalt send it soon enow back to Hel!"

The two humans seated together on a couch in front of a big-screen television just stared in complete befuddlement at their unexpected visitor. This wasn't how their movie night was supposed to start off.

Cautiously eyeing Thor looking all set to lay waste to everything in his vicinity, Clint Barton, alias Hawkeye the Archer, asked, "Uh, big guy, could you be a little bit more specific? We didn't hear any alarms telling us this place was under attack."

At her husband's side, the superheroine known as Mockingbird to those unaware of her real name of Bobbi Morse Barton nodded her head in quick agreement, until she blinked in sudden comprehension. In her clear alto, Clint's wife corrected him, "Honey, I think he heard part of what we were arguing about." Glancing at the puzzled Norse god, Bobbi inquired of him, "Did you catch me mentioning the word 'vampire', Thor?"

Relaxing slightly due to there being no evident signs of potential conflict right this minute, Thor courteously replied to a valiant woman he well respected, "Aye, my lady, I hath several unpleasant encounters an age ago with these cowardly blood-drinkers skulking in the night. I did not ken they were still bothering the dwellers of thine homeland."

Both Clint and Bobbi instantly burst into loud laughter at Thor's last words, leaving him even more confused. Handing the full bowl of popcorn she'd been holding over to Clint, Bobbi chuckled, "Thor, vampires are still around, but most people here think they're just a myth. Which is how one of my favorite tv programs got on the air in the first place. I was trying to talk Clint into watching some of the episodes with me tonight."

Bemusedly glancing at the other man, Thor now heard from Hawkeye while the expert bowman put an impressively-muscled left arm around his wife's shoulders and gave her a fond hug, "Yeah, Bobbi introduced me to the series. I was still working at the circus when the show was first airing, so I never saw any of it then. She clued me in, and I have to admit, I turned into a fan of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'."

An approving look swiftly passed over Thor's features, with him then telling the others, "From what I recall, few of thine race could successfully stand in single combat against these fanged monsters. Truly, this Buffy must be a great warrior, tall and powerful."

This time, both humans just managed to keep their hilarity under control, not wanting to further mystify their oversized friend unfamiliar with virtually all of American popular culture of the twentieth century. Instead, Bobbi gladly announced, "Hey, Thor, I know the perfect show to introduce you to the Buffyverse! C'mon and sit down with us, and we can get started!"

Enthusiastically waving him over, the woman picked up a complicated tv remote from the couch's side table, and she started to bring up the specific episode from the supernatural television series. Fortunately, Tony Stark had already put up virtually anything ever presented on the airwaves in the mansion's computers, so the opening credits soon began rolling.

Before then, Thor had given an accepting shrug, and putting Mjolnir back on his belt, the god walked over to the couch. Sitting down at the far end, the massive weight of this superhero squashed flat the cushions there, making it necessary for Hawkeye in the middle to tilt over in the opposite direction to keep his balance. Not to mention holding onto the popcorn bowl to prevent its contents from spilling. Taking this in stride, the human began to recite for an increasingly-interested thunder god about such topics as Sunnydale, the Hellmouth, and the Scooby Gang. Clint went on speaking without a break, confining himself to only an irritated glower, when Thor absently took a good half of the popcorn in a single grab of an enormous hand and tossed this snack into his mouth.

Nearly an hour later, Clint and Bobbi cuddling together at the other end of the couch broke apart when the end credits appeared. Both stretched and then glanced over at where Thor was still sitting, only to abruptly shift into full alertness at seeing the look of absolute wrath now upon their companion's face. In the next instant, this champion of Asgard surged upright onto his feet, to then angrily shake a clenched fist towards the now-dark television screen, all while bellowing at the top of his lungs, "I SAY THEE NAY! 'TIS ONE THING TO TAKE A DEFEATED FOE'S WEAPON AS A TROPHY, BUT TO FURTHER USE SUCH A BASE TOOL SHALT NOT BE COUNTENANCED FORTHWITH!"

Bobbi and Clint traded identical incredulous stares at how much thicker Thor's absurd phrasing was developing in his rage. Not even Doctor Strange had ever come up with any reasonable explanation of just why the mystical translation spell accompanying Thor and other Asgardians when they paid a visit to Earth, which allowed these deities to be understood by humans when speaking their native language, always resulted in them sounding exactly like mediocre actors in a fifth-rate Shakespearean production. Privately, most of the Avengers suspected it had something to do with Thor's half-brother Loki, a malicious trickster of no small renown.

Wisely decided now was not the time to bring this up, Clint instead tried to divert Thor now stomping back and forth across the room, and making the entire mansion shake in its foundations, "Hey, fella, what's the problem? There's no point in being so excited over a made-up television story! It's like, like…getting mad about tall tales told around a campfire!"

For some reason, this comment caused Thor to halt in his tracks and turn to where the two superheroes on the couch were worriedly watching him. With a very grave expression now upon his face, the thunder god slowly shook his head in stern disagreement, rumbling, "Ye know not of what ye speak, Hawkeye. We Asgardians are aware of the Nine Worlds, and also those other uncountable dimensions we rarely venture into. But now that I have seen with mine own eyes, I am forced to travel to what thou hast named the Buffyverse, and end a blameless woman's act of dishonor."

Reaching down to once more take up Mjolnir, Thor grasped his hammer by the strap at its end, and he started to spin this weapon around over his head. Calling out to the gaping humans over the growing rush of his magical hammer beginning to dimensionally transport him, Thor informed the couple, "Mention to the other Avengers that I wilt be away for a time, first to mine home in Asgard, and then to meet Buffy Summers."

A concerned Bobbi shouted over the enchanted winds, "Wait a second! Maybe you should come back here before that, so we can talk about this some more!" Mockingbird barely got out her final words when Thor vanished from sight in a bright flash of light. At least he'd heard her, given the sudden pensive look on his face right before disappearing, and hopefully the thunder god was considering this. Bobbi now turned to her husband still next to herself on the couch, who lifted both hands in a who-me? gesture.

Smirking at his wife, Clint sardonically commented, "Dear, I think you shouldn't have shown Goldilocks the 'Triangle' episode, with Olaf the troll and all. I read once those ugly critters, along with the ice giants, were his usual opponents, so he might've not particularly cared about seeing another one of those guys he couldn't clobber right away."

Bobbi sent an evil glare towards somebody who was going to spend the next couple of nights sleeping elsewhere besides their connubial bed if he didn't immediately knock it off. In a very frosty tone, she snapped, "Listen, you jerk, it's not like I picked a really awful episode like 'Beer Bad' or one of the others!"

Enjoying how his wife was really getting into it, Clint snickered, "Hey, Sarah Michelle Gellar was pretty funny in that! Though, I gotta agree with you, 'I Robot You Jane' was the lowest point of the series."


	2. Chapter 2

Contently twirling her troll hammer in one hand, Buffy walked through the grounds of the Scottish castle serving as main headquarters for the New Council, after finishing a special training session with a bunch of newbie Slayers getting too big for their britches. Making the small blonde even happier was her companions, who were both on a rare visit here at the same time. Xander and Dawn amiably chatted with Buffy and each other during the trio's saunter along the gravel path. The other Scooby Gang members were prudently strolling on Buffy's far side, well away from the spinning magical weapon which could deliver a devastating wallop against the original Slayer's adversaries. As all the chastened warrior women trainees could now dazedly testify to, while limping off and holding each other up from collapsing flat onto their bruised faces.

Years before, the hammer which Buffy had taken as a token of victory against Olaf the troll had been lost during the Sunnydale collapse. When Willow had run a magical scan on where the former Hellmouth had been to ensure it was permanently sealed, this witch had been somewhat surprised to discover the troll hammer buried far underground in the rubble of where a California city once existed. Unfortunately, the innate spells laid upon this weapon, even though they made it nearly indestructible, also meant the redhead couldn't use her supernatural powers to directly collect the hammer by teleporting it out of the ground. The New Council was forced to secretly excavate a deep mineshaft to regain their prize, which had proven to be a rather…interesting…experience.

In any event, Buffy was having a good time with her friends at the moment. So, naturally, something weird happened.

In a flash of light, an immense figure appeared before the three people. Buffy's right hand holding the troll hammer came up in a guard position, with the Slayer ready to attack the instant she saw an opening. Without looking, the L.A. native knew Xander and Dawn had hastily stepped back and behind herself, leaving Buffy facing…one very _yummy_ hunk of male scrumptiousness.

Tilting back her head to stare upwards into electric-blue eyes intently regarding in turn the young woman observing him, Buffy gaped at (in order): a metal helmet with small wings attached at each side, flowing locks of bright yellow hair brushing past broad shoulders almost the width of a garage door, a bright red cape big enough for a sail, a black pullover sleeveless shirt with round blue decorations in two vertical rows, blue pants, and tall yellow/black striped boots, with the latter estimated at size twenty and triple E. All of this was worn by nearly seven feet of a superbly muscled body surmounted by a handsome face which was presently making Buffy go slightly weak in the knees. Of course, if he made a single hostile move, she'd still pound him into the ground with her hammer, just like an ordinary nail. Well…she'd first have to jump up there at his head level, but that wouldn't be any problem, no sirree.

Continuing to alertly observe her potential opponent, Buffy's lips tightened in mild exasperation at hearing from behind Dawn's blithe, "Helloooo, salty goodness!" Honestly, her little sis was spending far too much time around Faith-

That mental grumble was interrupted by a baffled blink of Buffy's eyes at also hearing from Xander a constant stream of ecstatic fanboy whimpers: "It's him! It's him! A perfect Walt Simonson Thor!"

This was followed by an odd combined thumping/crunching sound. Not daring to take her gaze away from the huge man in front of her, Buffy still managed to slightly turn her head, so she then saw from out of the corner of her vision Xander gleefully hopping up and down on the gravel path, an ear-to-ear grin upon his scarred features.

All three members of the New Council became slightly more vigilant when the newcomer moved for the first time since he'd appeared in their presence. Bringing up an empty left hand from his side, this stranger held it palm outwards at shoulder level in an evident greeting, to next speak in a resonant voice. However, what really staggered the Scoobies was what they now heard. Looking directly at Buffy, their unexpected visitor stated, "Hail, daughter of Sineya."

Switching his attention to the pair behind the stunned Slayer, Dawn and Xander were respectively saluted, "Hail, ye who art the Key. Hail, the One Who Sees."

"Okay, who the hell are you?" snarled Buffy, reeling at being told what almost nobody outside their family should have known.

Putting down his left arm, the stranger allowed a dryly amused expression to flash over his features while nodding into Xander's direction, "Thine battle-brother hath already recognized me, lass. But if ye so desire, I shalt offer with pleasure mine name to a most fair lady. Buffy Anne Summers, I hight Thor, the God of Thunder, and I come bearing a gift for thee."

From where his right arm had been concealed behind his shielding cape, Thor brought forth in this hand into the light a magnificent war hammer. Staring in shock at the proffered sleekly-lethal weapon with a gleaming head of unearthly metal shaped in graceful curves leading into a flaring, dangerously-appearing flat striking surface, Buffy's fingers around her own troll hammer unconsciously loosened. Sliding free, the other crude and clunky weapon dropped to the ground (thankfully missing her right toes by an inch or so).

Nodding in approval, Thor also cast a disdainful glance, accompanied with a contemptuously curled lip, at where the troll hammer had been abandoned. He rumbled with grim satisfaction, "Keep that filthy thing if thine must for some desperate straits in the future, but 'tis not fitting for the Slayer to otherwise touch such an unclean object. Mayhap ye might not know, but trolls test their newly-made hammers by seeing how many mortals' heads they can shatter in one blow. This happens when prisoners of all ages are chained together yet are somewhat free to move in a vain attempt at escape, since those foul beasts think it only increases the sport of their slaughter."

Turning pale in utter revulsion, Buffy hastily scraped the palm of her right hand against her pants leg, to then take a quick couple of steps away from where the troll hammer was innocently resting on its side. A single long stride by this Thor guy put him again in front of Buffy, with the truly exquisite hammer still held out for her to claim.

Despite the young woman's intense urge to grab the weapon at once and then go off to blissfully gloat over it for the rest of the day, Buffy hesitated. She remembered what her mother had told a little girl about not taking candy or other treats from strangers. Besides, there was the whole Hellmouth thing from Hemery High on, what with the occasional smarter Big Bad trying some sort of bribe or temptation to get Joyce Summers' daughter under the control of various Evil Overlords.

However…her Slayerness wasn't getting any kind of nasty vibe from Mr. Muscles. On the contrary, Buffy's demonic warrior spirit was at this moment licking her lips, pawing at the ground, and insistently demanding to her host, *MATE WITH HIM! NOW!*

Absently telling the shade of Sineya to go take a long, cold shower, Buffy continued to eye with wariness the man still patiently waiting for her to make a decision. Glancing again at the offered hammer, Buffy's wistful gaze examined it again from top to bottom, but this time she noticed something else there she'd previously missed. It had the effect of immediately making up her mind, so Buffy reached out, and she grasped the hammer's shaft above the big guy's hand.

Instantly letting go for the young woman to receive her gift, Thor stepped back, nodded once regally, and then he broke into a wide smile as bright as the rising sun at seeing the Slayer adoringly examining what she now owned. A deep chuckle shivered through the air, distracting Buffy and her companions also staring at what she was gripping. Taking a few more steps away while still beaming at the trio of valiant mortals, the god of thunder paused, to then place a hand upon another, more massive hammer dangling from his belt and detaching this.

Watching with a single bulging eye, Xander croaked in his awe, "That's Mjolnir! Frakkin' Mjolnir!"

A delighted laugh came from Thor as he lifted this legendary weapon over his head. "Verily, it be as thou sayest, good White Knight. Now, list, ye all. Thy world canst not allow mine presence here much longer, so I must take hence mine farewell. Slayer, it was I who forged thy gift, so it hath but a single enchantment laid upon it, unlike mine own hammer imbued with mine father's Odin Force. None the less, I think thou wilt be most pleased with a further reward, which shalt commence when I take my leave. Be of good cheer, gracious lady, and find joy in thine family and friends!" Mjolnir began to move in its spinning path around Thor.

Realizing their guest was about to leave right away, Dawn wailed, "Wait! Can't we at least get your autograph?"

Continuing to wield Mjolnir, which was already starting to glow, Thor looked thoughtful for a few seconds. After that, the Norse god lifted his free hand to his head, grasping the lower edge of his helmet and removing this, to then toss it straight towards the younger Summers sister with a casual flick of his wrist. Dawn grabbed the soaring helmet out of mid-air when it got near, only to have another's fingers also seize this incredible treasure at the same time. Glaring at an equally stubborn Xander across the helmet they were both tenaciously clutching, Dawn eventually grudged, "Okay, we'll share it. One month at a time for me, then you, and we flip a coin to see who goes first."

Xander slowly nodded in reluctant acceptance, though an extremely wicked smirk now twisted his lips, as he snickered, 'Andrew's gonna drop dead from sheer envy, which only makes it better!"

Dawn was about to derisively agree, except she and her one-eyed best friend were distracted by the white glow completely covering Thor's body, which then instantly vanished. Just as swiftly, before even Slayer reflexes could react, a small lightning bolt appeared out of thin air from the point where the thunder god had been a mere moment ago, to strike directly upon the head of the hammer Buffy was still grasping.

With a tremendous _BANG!,_ a searing light enveloped Buffy's entire form, momentarily blinding both Xander and Dawn. Frantically blinking away their tears and the after-images, the two Scoobies stared at where Buffy was now standing totally unharmed.

Unharmed…but not unchanged.

Dazedly turning around to present herself to the others, a younger sibling and a former carpenter who'd years ago fallen off his skateboard at catching sight of a hot high school girl now gawked at their longtime comrade. This was only natural, given that in the last two seconds, Buffy had increased in height from her previous (and strongly resented) 5'3" height to at least twelve inches taller. Plus, the Slayer had somehow also added from out of nowhere about a hundred pounds of muscular yet feminine flesh.

In her whirling thoughts, Dawn couldn't help but to sourly note that at least twenty pounds of this recently acquired body mass was concentrated around Buffy's upper chest. Particularly when Xander's remaining eye was keenly fixed in an unblinking stare towards this exact point, where the few remaining scraps of the Slayer's clothing ripped into shreds by her sudden physical expansion were just barely maintaining her older sister's modesty.

As for this lady herself… Ignoring everything else, including how her pure golden-yellow hair now fell to the small of her back (which later in complete privacy was comprehended as part of her change into an authentic natural blonde), Buffy disbelievingly gazed down at where her much-larger right hand was still gripping the hammer. Just above this, also unscathed, there was a long red ribbon which had been tied into a cheerful bow around the shaft of this weapon. None of the Scooby Gang would ever know this had been done by and due to Mockingbird's insistence, when Thor had shown his Avengers compatriots exactly what he planned to bestow upon the previously considered fictional main character of a television show.

Suddenly glancing up to deliver an exuberant grin at Dawn and Xander goggling back at her, Buffy crowed, "I got a really nice prezzy!"

A wondering look now appeared on the young woman's beautiful face, with the Slayer going on to further exclaim, "Yeah, that's it! I'm gonna name my new hammer now!"

Before the others could say anything, Buffy brandished her magnificent weapon in a grand, sweeping gesture which ended with her holding motionless the hammer on high, to then ceremoniously intone, "I dub thee…_Prezzy!_"

After this last ludicrous word, Buffy Anne Summers took a deep, proud breath.

Finally giving up the ghost, the very last threads of the fragment of cloth just barely clinging to an extraordinary set of female mammary glands then snapped, resulting in what had been a women's blouse now completely sliding off and dropping to the ground, next to a discarded troll hammer.


	3. Chapter 3

Sitting together at the main conference table in the New Council's castle, Dawn and Xander were enjoyably listening to Andrew Well's latest attempt at suicide by stupidity. Earnestly listing all the problems Buffy Summers was now going to experience due to her recent bodily alterations, the only survivor of the inept Sunnydale supervillain team known as the Trio somehow managed to miss during his interminable lecturing the increasingly hostile Look of Death being sent his way by this specific woman seated at the end of their table. Even when he mentioned Buffy no longer had any hope of easily finding any ladies' shoes which would presently fit her oversized feet and would probably be forced to wear men's footwear from now on instead, Andrew continued to drone on while paying no heed to how the Slayer began to thoughtfully caress the head of her new hammer, as if eager to test its skull-cracking abilities upon a certain geek.

Andrew was finally cut off when a glowering Buffy dressed in the biggest set of women's sweats located after a quick search throughout the entire castle now abruptly stood up from her chair, to then send a dirty look around the entire room. Brusquely muttering, "'Scuse me," Buffy started to leave, only to halt in mid-turn and return to the table, where she gently laid Prezzy onto the top of this piece of furniture. Ignoring all there now interestedly watching her, Buffy then stalked out of the conference room, leaving Andrew with his mouth wide open in mid-sentence.

Dawn bemusedly eyed the war hammer her sister had left behind, the first time Buffy had been separated from this new weapon since she'd acquired it from nobody other than Thor, the Norse god of thunder. Gleaming highlights from the room's chandelier sparkled along the entire shiny length of the unearthly metal of this incredible object given by an Avenger to honor a young woman. The hammer laid solidly upon the tabletop, looking as if anyone could use it. Which was completely untrue, Dawn reflected. Some hasty experimentation a few minutes earlier had shown that nobody else, not even the other Slayers around, could lift or even move Buffy's latest…prezzy.

Snickering to herself over how deeply Giles had groaned out loud over being informed just _what_ his once-and-always Slayer had christened her newest foe-clouting toy, Dawn gleefully observed at the head of the table this former Sunnydale High librarian was just barely holding onto his patience while Andrew pestered him about all the trouble they were going to have while going through channels to change Buffy's various identification document details. Even those normally brain-dead bureaucrats at the DMV might feel a faint touch of curiosity about one of their patrons having to get a new driver's license after growing a foot taller-

The Key became distracted then by Xander's mumbling under his breath becoming louder. Peeking over at the man next to herself, Dawn saw the one-eyed California native was fixedly looking at his wristwatch while counting down, "-fifty-eight, fifty-nine, sixty-"

A flash of white light burst throughout the conference room, though all those around the table there were more shocked by the muffled female shriek suddenly coming from up the corridor outside the room. Where, come to think of it, a shocked Dawn realized, were the building restrooms on this floor-

Putting down his arm, Xander gave one glance at where a stylish walking stick now rested on the tabletop where Buffy's hammer had been a moment before, to then send his most evil smirk at where both Andrew and Giles were staring at this latest example of the enchantment laid by Thor upon his gift. Jovially calling out to a bewildered fellow Sunnydale survivor, Xander caroled, "Andy, ol' pal, you better run like hell. Now that she's changed back to her old self, you've got only a few seconds before Buffy pulls up her pants and hunts you down - well, maybe a little longer if she actually fell in-"

"Why would she blame _me?_" yelped Andrew, a terrified expression flashing over his face despite his protest. He went on frantically, with growing outrage creeping in also, "You're the one who didn't warn her what might happen!"

A deadpan Xander noted, "Hey, which of us was the only guy to piss her off in the last couple of minutes? Plus, I'm gonna point at you when she comes squishing in-"

The other door at the far side of the conference room slammed open before Xander could finish, leaving the room empty of Andrew's presence, save for a laughing Dawn, a sighing Giles, and a grinning man who'd at last accomplished a dearly-yearned payback burn.


End file.
